Ok as a clical singer Baritone I am having problems findng the right sensation that relaxed feeling help.?

I've been training for about 3 years now since my senoir year in h.s who started off as a tenor but had a voice change. But for some reason I still have a problem with finding that relaxed sensation I keep on hearing about. I have it sometimes then other times its not there and really dont feel a life in my ovice my the way I want. How can I acheive this lift and relaxed feeling where nothing is felt pushed or strained.